If you want to live a life of regret, stay on autopilot. It’s so easy to be asleep for years. You can be comfortable for decades, but it will lead to some form of unhappiness sooner or later.
The good news is we can control it.
One of my favourite quotes is ‘we need to be reminded more than we need to be taught’. I’m not trying to teach anyone anything, never have. Although my writing has opened many doors, it’s the outcome the counts. I am grateful others have enjoyed reading or even gained something along the way.
So here is your reminder.
The power in little wins.
It starts by taking imperfect action.
You might think tiny changes are pointless, but if you can keep doubling, nowhere gets you somewhere faster than you think.
It starts the moment you open your eyes in the morning. Don’t hit snooze, sit up and put your feet on the ground. Sip that salty water or drink that green smoothie ya hippie, before making coffee. And make your bed. That’s a damn good start.
Doesn’t sound like much but if you can get yourself a smidge of order in the morning and dedicate as little as five minutes of time to yourself before anyone else, you will find yourself better situated. Little changes with some order add up and allow you to see what’s next to tackle no matter what your priority is - high quality work, working out, or planning your day with the kids.
Another reminder is one common trigger for feeling overwhelmed and anxious is by having many options with no idea what to prioritise. You feel anxiety and scattered because you can’t decide.
So, start with the lowest hanging fruit.
But Joel, it’s hard to get started.
Well, everything is hard before it becomes easy. Most things you now find easy you have forgotten were once hard.
The compound effect is the idea that small, seemingly insignificant actions accumulate, and eventually compound and multiply over time leading to big results. Any action to start is good action.
But there is a trap of falling into complacency if you settle. I have found the Region-Beta Paradox as a good explanation for what many people struggle with, and why change can be difficult.
We roadblock change which could impact our lives greatly.
Life is full of paradoxes. One that we encounter often without conscious thinking is the Region-Beta Paradox.
This Paradox is when situations are sort-of bad, or mildly uncomfortable, and we would actually be better off if they were worse.
Why? Because only when they are worse are we motivated to act and do something about it.
What is Region-Beta Paradox?
The Region-Beta Paradox is named after the term "beta," which refers to the degree of risk associated with a particular investment.
The paradox comes into play when we have a sense of comfort and safety in our current situation, but we also know that we could have more, or perhaps something is missing. We may feel like we're in a "good enough" situation, but we're not truly happy or fulfilled.
This paradox can be seen in many different areas of life with everyone. I’ll give you three simple and relatable examples below:
We all know that one person who complains about their long list of problems, and does nothing, until they have a serious health problem. We will witness them take out loans against their health for years in the form of poor diet, maybe excessive drinking, very little exercise, and no care for quality sleep.
It’s literally death by 1,000 papercuts until one serious health scare will prompt them into changing their sedentary lifestyle and poor choices (If they are lucky enough to survive the scare).
A familiar one is those who stay in a relationship for much longer than they should. You might accept each other as who you are. It’s comfortable and might feel safe with a sense of stability.
But, deep down you are not truly happy and the thought of sitting on the porch alone when the kids have moved out is petrifying. But you will stay anyway, far longer than you should have unless you have enough reason to leave.
Or someone might be in a job that pays well and has good overtime options, but that means spending even more time away from the family and other things you enjoy. It’s not a terrible situation, the pay is good, but you miss your family and hobbies.
It’s a situation where you might feel obligated or trapped to stay because you believe by staying you are thinking of your family, but in fact you are taking away the one thing they would benefit from – your time.
So, what do we do about it?
The first step is to recognise that we're in it. We need to be honest with ourselves about how we're truly feeling and acknowledge that we're not completely satisfied.
Sometimes it’s even worse than that. People know they’re in it and seem to enjoy complaining as much as they enjoy doing nothing about their situation because it’s not yet bad enough to do anything about.
Once we’re ready (because things are bad enough to motivate action) and we are done with complaining, we can start exploring our options. This may involve taking new risks, trying new things, or even making major life changes. It's not always easy, but it's important to act if we want to move towards a more fulfilling life.
It might sound harsh but If you want something enough you will generally find a way. Someone who doesn’t will find an excuse.
I believe you need to avoid Region Beta if you’re going to live out your best story without regret. That means taking notice of less-than-ideal situations in your life and challenging yourself to change, even when scary or uncomfortable.
Take the first step, it will be worth it. And remember, if things get worse, it might just be the thing you needed on the other side of the stress.
Disclaimer. This is written for everybody and nobody. Respectfully, I’m not thinking about you at work just like you’re not thinking about me. Like all previous ramble, writing it out serves as a reminder for me too (I’m not an expert).
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