Something important I have learnt over the last few years is that ‘kindness is not a weakness.'
One way of safeguarding your own mental wellbeing is by spreading kindness.
A lot of this has to do with simply changing your perspective.
Have you noticed how many people seem to be a victim? We seem to be in a world of precious crybabies. There are millions of people who actually have something to complain about. Try focusing your attention on them.
Specifically, when we focus our attention on doing good for other people, it’s proven that we increase our levels of happiness and psychological wellbeing due to the release of dopamine.
There are a bunch of things that will make you feel happier, but here is a few:
1. Stop regretting the past. Learn from it, be better because of it, but just let it go. There is nothing you can actually do about it.
2. Stop worrying about the future. Over 90% of what we waste energy on will never happen.
3. Happiness has to be an inside job. Stop looking for your happiness in other people. This includes blaming them for your happiness. Take control.
4. Stop looking for the nonsense concept that money buys happiness. People who are hurting inside are chasing money as one medicine to feel better. Society has tricked you to believe this, and we are idiots.
I was happier than ever when I was going through personal challenges.
Why? My perspective.
I can also say I am the happiest I have ever been Right At This Moment.
So… there are many ways to cultivate kindness in the workplace and none of it is groundbreaking. Simply; Care, support, forgive, inspire, respect, trust, gratitude. The list goes on.
Don’t worry about the principles set out by researchers. You shouldn't overcomplicate being kind. It just takes a little perspective, self-reflection, and effort.
Considerations
For me:
When everything is going well, it’s easy to show up well. When the going gets tough, the kindness gets going.
The best people show kindness in the most difficult situations.
I know I should make more effort to ensure I am there for those who are dealing with personal situations. This includes caring for, being compassionate, and maintaining more responsibility for supporting those who need it. I have been swift to ‘cut the chord’ for performance slumps in others throughout my career (which does have its advantages), however with career maturity I now analyse and reflect each situation individually.
For you:
We are not mind readers. And we don’t all have a crystal ball. Manage upwards in the workplace. On a personal level, be brave and speak up.
If I didn’t show up, I probably didn’t know.
If I did something wrong, communicate it with me or tell me in a way I might understand better.
If I hurt your feelings, make me aware so I know.
If I did something you don’t agree with, communicate it with me so we can try to work it out and move on like adults.
Please don’t hold resentment if you haven’t clearly expressed yourself. This can fester into something that could be resolved swiftly. You should save yourself sleepless nights for when you need them.
For us:
Just because you or I did something you don’t agree with in the past (personally or professionally), it doesn’t mean you can’t advocate against it now. Let it go and grow.
This doesn’t necessarily make you a hypocrite, you just grew. It's a positive thing.
You can’t let people use your past mistakes to invalidate your current mindset and future goals. And be cautious, don’t play the part of victim. This will not help you at all. Keep your chin up.
I’m now proudly built from every mistake I ever made. Own it and share it. Next time you’re not starting from scratch, you’re starting with experience.
Resilience should also become the relative of kindness.
We know the more resilient we are, the less anxious we’re likely to be.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. If I could go back and tell my younger self to reinvest the emotional capital I wasted sweating the small stuff, I would have saved 1,000’s of hours spent worrying about things not worth worrying about.
Don’t listen to the noise of others. Hear it like ‘teenagers of the sky’ (cockatoo’s). Annoying, obnoxious, but not enough to ruin your day.
I have also learnt that maturity and peace come from only giving a fu#k about what’s fu#k worthy.
Maybe it's called resilience?
A resilient person will be able to cope with challenges, while being optimistic in finding opportunities to thrive. Even in shitty situations.
Always remember. Kindness is not a weakness, but manifestations of strength and resolution.
I’m certainly not perfect, but I do know if someone is in need, kindness will make a difference.
In fact, no act of kindness is too small.
This is written for everyone, and no one. Personally, and professionally, with probably little impact (realist, not pessimist).
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