In many ways the start of our relationship forced a new beginning in our lives and granted us the opportunity to focus on the most important things in life, leaving behind anything or anyone who did not want to share that with us. I would consider it a superpower. The chance to start over, reset, and build something better for us and anyone who wants to be part of our lives. Not many people do this. Everyone has the chance to do this, though many simply go through life unhappy or not completely fulfilled. My now wife and I found each other, leaving our own previous lives we were struggling with, unbeknown to our family and friends. Mistake one, be open and transparent with the good and the bad to avoid complete surprises and avoid hurting others.
For the first twelve months we were together, I made lots of mistakes, lots. I’m now proudly built from every mistake I ever made and know that dark times can teach you a lot. Once you realise if it's always going to be someone else’s fault, it’s probably your fault. I have also learnt not to waste time with explanations. People only hear what they want to hear and it's not worth the emotional capital.
If you don’t like something you hear, you can take away its only power: Your attention.
Something I wholeheartedly believe is becoming the very best version of yourself comes with a lot of goodbyes. And, striving to become better than we previously were, has made everything around us become better too. Everything we do together becomes better, or vastly improves. Our relationships for those we choose to let in or those who turned up, our workplace, our parenting. We are celebrating a lot and again behind closed doors.
This year we have BIG things coming personally and professionally.
We are surrounding ourselves with people who talk about visions and ideas, not just people. I will never ever force friendships, relationships, or any form of communication for that matter. If you are lucky enough, the people you want in your life are those who:
1. Hold you accountable, not punish you
2. Show up on your door during hard times, regardless of opinions
3. Celebrate your good news
4. Can be vulnerable with you and allow you to be the same
5. Share a willingness to have open communication
Sometimes our lives must be unexpectedly completely shaken up, flipped, and rearranged and when the dust settles, relocate us to the place we were meant to be.
We don’t have a conventional love story. But it is our story. I wasn’t afraid to start over and build something amazing and for the first time in a long time, I am truly happy.
I am full of gratitude for how the ‘dust settled’.
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