People want you to fail.

When you start a new business, people are happy for you.

Why? Because you put it all on the line, took fundamental risks and objectively, are failing (at least in that moment) more than them.

I had the most amount of support when I started my first business seven years ago. Every year following, every milestone, that support decreases.

When you match or even surpass others in what the world views as success, your risks no longer have an adverse effect, and your risks are perceived as starting to pay off.

What I have learnt with each new business or milestone, less and less people actually care. Even for some of those who you thought always would.

I can guarantee there are people reading this, people in my friends list, associates, or even family that are waiting, possibly even wanting to see us fail. Sadly, this is not uncommon.

When I opened a new business last year, less than 50% of mine or my wife’s family members (the ones I see) even said the words ‘congratulations’. Majority simply said ‘oh, you’re open, that’s great’.

Of course, you have those who celebrate the wins with you and support you relentlessly. They are your circle.

I have learnt that only your solid circle understands you, your commitment to the cause, and why you are doing what you are doing.

I also have learnt not to wait for your supportive pat on the back. In fact, I couldn’t care less.

However, I wish everyone all the success possible. My kick comes from seeing people do well and surrounding myself with a similar network.

Unfortunately, a lot of people are wired to get a kick out of other people’s failures.

Don’t take it personally and learn swiftly. These are the people you don’t want in your corner.

For the people who derive satisfaction from the failures of others, it has little to do with you. It has more to do with them. Such people may have insecurities that make them afraid to try for fear of failure themselves.

Humans are peculiar creatures. Instinct may be to draw a comparison to others. When drawing a comparison to others, without emotional regulation, it might be instinctual to wait aimlessly for their failure. At times, perhaps even hope for failure.

Emotional regulation and the power to regulate feelings is our (my wife and I) most important developmental requirement for our children.  

Instead of showing little support, be proud, be supportive, and don’t wish for others failure.

Failure hurts. I have been close to losing everything multiple times, but you learn and are built from every mistake you make.

Imagine a society where everyone supports one another…

Importantly, people want you to fail… So, disappoint them.